May 09

Musha
Alas, my cat of 16 years has passed on. It really was time for Musha. I knew it, and I believe Musha knew it, and the vet was very good about it. He pointed out that Musha’s thyroid gland had got very large, something I had also noticed while petting him. He had many of the signs of the final hours of Chronic Renal Failure: no urination, severe oral ulcers, inability to walk, fairly dull eyes, and hiding.

We might have tried massive antibiotics to try to heal his mouth ulcers (which were pretty acute) and an IV drip, but there’d be no guarantee of success even in the short term and eventually we would be back again for more of the same. My partner and I pet him as he went to sleep after the first injection, and then as he passed on after the second.

So at 18:00 on Wednesday 7 May, we helped him on his way. We were home by 18:30 and I stopped the clock, to symbolize that time had stopped for Musha. Then on Thursday 8 May at about the same time we brought him down to our friend and neighbour Rosey’s garden. On his grave Rosey planted blue forget-me-nots and some other white flowers. Later on we will plant a tree there. At 18:35 on Thursday I started the clock again.

Musha was just over 16, his birthday being 4 May 1992. I miss him very much, and though I have no regrets about our choice, I find the early grieving to be relentless.

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